As Fall comes near....

August starts the time of year that brings my heart to turmoil. There are precious little ones that I know are coming up on birthdays.... their moms are the ones that tried to lift my heart the best they could when we lost Bumble Bee. His third birthday is right around the corner.... And the questions are still there - why? what did I do for this to happen? Am I really a mother to a little boy in an urn that sits no more than 10 feet away from my bed? Is there nothing I can do to bring him back? Please?