Well - used to be from Kansas... jury is still out on the witch part.
Since losing Bee - we're in OZ. A very strange land that makes a person question if they are a good witch - or a bad witch.
DB Parents get this from those around them - What did she do to make her baby die? Did she not listen to her doctor? Why didn't they push for a c-section when the induction failed? We do it to ourselves......What if we would have put the car seat in before leaving for the hospital? Should I have questioned why that last bio-physical took so long?
And it doesn't stop with Bee. It goes on with Bird too. Shouldn't they have waited longer? Are they trying to replace Bee?...... Should we do this again? Are we being dishonorable towards Bee? Am I worthy of a child or is God going to take this one away too?
Raising Bird has had it's demons too. We question everything and everyone. Question if we're disciplining right... feel guilty for getting frustrated....you can't find patience with a 13 month old after your first one is dead?.....
I love both of my boys with all my heart. Just wish (for both their sakes) - that it wasn't such a damaged heart.
Wonder if the TinMan would trade me?
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