Unexpected Gift

When you are a DB parent.... you come to a place where you know you are not going to get anything "new" in the form memories for that child. That little spirit is not here anymore - so - the only memories after you say that last good-bye are the ones of your life with that missing piece.

I am not a good one with dates. Never have been - never will. I also did not think to make a big deal about my pregnancy - why concentrate on everything? It's not like it would make a difference once the baby gets here....... right? But after losing Bumble Bee - I scrambled to hold on to ANYTHING that was associated with him. Hell - if I would have known - I would have saved EVERYTHING about my pregnancy.... all the way down to the receipt from the pedicure I had two weeks before his birth. Yeah - finding anything associated with the DB becomes VERY important.

So - here's the gift I got this week. I had been very sick Tuesday and Wednesday - and finally decided to drag my butt to Urgent Care. They asked when was the last time I visited them - and I remembered - it was when I thought I had the stomach flu. That flu bug turned out to be me - pregnant with Bumble Bee. The receptionist must have thought I was nuts - because I asked her - for a pen - and the date that I had been there.....

March 7th, 2007.

I did not know this date.

I have something new.

A gift.