Ding dong, the witch is dead!

Do not panic loved ones - no one has died! Well - at least in my real world as of late. I think the family has actually gone almost a full year without losing someone. Thank God.

I have had a morbid attachment to death for a long time. Even before Bumble Bee - all the way back into college - I often though about my own demise. I change my ideas / thoughts / feelings about it over time with what goes on in my life. I think of what songs I want at my memorial ("I'm Going Home" a sacred harp song, "In This Heart" by Sinead O'Connor, "I'll Fly Away" - a song I loved to sing at church as a child), what I want done with this body of mine (give parts to those that need them and then cremate me - put me in the sunny spot in the family cemetery)......

I am not afraid of death and I want no one crying over me. A big part of it is because I know when I go I get to see Bumble Bee and many other people I love and adore (and my friends' little angels). Some of it also comes from the fact that I had to think about it seriously at one point in my life. In the back of an ambulance - thinking the Evil Overlords have each other - they'll be okay.... my Evil Twin had her first munchkin (he was too young to miss me) and her hubby, my Tender Hearted Big Brother had his wonderful wife and first munchkin on the way, Giant [much taller than me] Little Brother had his wife with his first munchkin on the way... someone would need to watch out for the Wizard and Bio-Dad... they would have the worst go at it. So - I was ready - and still am. Today - I'm thinking about how I want my obit to read.

That's where this whole post is coming from. I read a story in a local paper yesterday about an incredible obituary written for whom I suspect was a very incredible guy. I don't think the family will mind me sharing it with you - here's the link - http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/ohio/obituary.aspx?n=denis-kuhlke&pid=140059502 How better to be remembered! If you have time - read the comments that complete strangers left for the family. THAT'S HOW I WANT PEOPLE TO REACT TO MY LIFE! Or at least the description or flavor it's given in my obituary.

How should mine read? Those that know me the best know that I don't want something serious. Geez Louise! PLEASE - if I die "young" - say how. I don't want someone thinking something way off base. I also ask that BOTH my boys (and any future kids) are mentioned - and how much I loved them with all my heart. I've never had to write an obit for anyone else - so - I'm not sure under that strain what I would feel obligated to say. We did not have the heart to do an announcement for Bumble Bee. There is no way we could have handled seeing it in black and white. Do you think I should leave my family instructions? Or should I just write my own and let them tweak it when the time comes?

Maybe that's what I'll do over the next few days. Write my own obituary.

"I'm glad that I am born to die.... From grief and woe my soul shall fly..." - I'm Going Home

P.S. PLEASE - there is a difference between being ready to die and wanting to. I DO NOT WANT TO! I want to be around to see Blue Bird's kids be born and grow.